I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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