Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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