so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
