did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
