so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
