If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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