I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
