just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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