I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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