Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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