'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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