Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
