She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
