Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
