If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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