i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
All the doctor said was why
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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