He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
