when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
