Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
