The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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