You're so nebulous sometimes
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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