I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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