dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
