You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
