we're blogging at a bar
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
