Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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