You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
