Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
