We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
