So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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