You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
