Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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