i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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