I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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