i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
