ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
