i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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