I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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