I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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