I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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