Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
