The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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