it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
