First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
