you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
