Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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