Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
