We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize