What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
