Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
